Day 16: Prevent Unplanned Eating

        One challenge for me when it comes to unplanned eating is that there is a short time between “ok, that’s hunger” and the time I get the shakes… bad. That happened today. It only took from the time I started to fix my meal until it was halfway ready for me to get the shakes. In the past I would have ‘grabbed something’ while I was cooking (fruit, candy, crackers…). Today I waited, because I had not planned for this challenge. I shook all through my meal, which would usually be the signal for me to ‘keep eating something’. But I did something different instead. At the end of the meal I said ‘my blood sugar just hasn’t had time to stabilize.’ Then I set my timer for 20 minutes and said that if I still had the shakes after 20 minutes, then I’d eat a planned snack. It worked. The timer went off and I had to remind myself why I set it.

As I was doing my evening meal planning and problem solving I decided to have more protein first thing in the morning, and really watch the timing of my meals and snacks. I also decided to plan a fruit portion as well as protein portion for one of my snacks. I will have the fruit ready and give myself permission to eat it at any point in the day, as ‘needed’. If I don’t get the shakes all day, then it will be part of my evening snack.

No, I’m not diabetic, but I am hypoglycemic. Add to this I am 5 years out from weight loss surgery, so my plumbing is different. This influences some of my ‘eating rules’. I lost 180 lbs 5 years ago, but have gained 47 lbs back in the last 3 years (I stopped exercising due to joint problems and I take medication that makes it difficult to maintain my weight.) Also, I’m 60+ and a former yo-yo dieter, so my metabolism is slow. When I plan my meals the night before there are several specifics I have to keep in mind. In the last year I have ‘grazed’ almost all day, which is bad for me. OK, so following a rule eliminates the struggle. I need to start identifying My Rules:

1. Eat protein 6 times a day.
2. Eat SLOWLY. The first 1/3 of my meal is usually no problem, but I have to be aware of ‘tummy fullness’. (It is extremely easy for me to ‘over-fill’ if I eat too fast or don’t chew enough, then I’ll throw up. That really messes up my feeding schedule because then the blood sugar level goes haywire more easily, and throwing up happens about 20 minutes after the meal, so I never know how much I’ve absorbed. You may wonder why I could be able to gain weight back at all. It was very easy to get in a sugar/carb cycle, which meant more calories.) If I have chewed properly then I eat the next 1/3 SLOWLY. Repeat the process for the last 1/3.
3. No more than 1 carbonated drink per week. Drink at least 64 oz of water per day.
4. Take supplements as planned. (what and when is very important…especially calcium, calcium, calcium. This is especially a challenge since I am lactose intolerant.)
5. Space meals and snacks at 3 hour intervals.
6. Pay close attention to my ‘food list’. (I know by trial and error what I can eat and what I can’t. I try any ‘new’ food at home before I eat it away from home.)
7. Since I fill up fast, I eat my protein first.
8. I must follow my food plan.

There are many other ‘Rules’, but these are the most important ones.

            This section stated that one extremely important part of the NO CHOICE lesson is related to the internal argument that goes along with unplanned eating. I use food to relieve emotional and physical discomfort. This chapter pointed out that this internal argument creates tension. But once I make the decision to eat, the discomfort begins to subside even before I reach for the food. Just deciding can reduce the tension, so can deciding not to eat. My evening planning and problem solving sessions is when these decisions are made. NO CHOICE decreases both the struggle and the discomfort.

             I am breaking a dependency on sugar/carbo, so Rule #1 is vital…NO CHOICE.

Thought: I like spontaneous eating better than planned eating.

Response: Spontaneous eating doesn’t work for me. The more often I say NO CHOICE to myself, the less I’ll struggle.

Thought: Rules bring out my Teen Rebel.

Response: Rules eliminate tension and the need to struggle.

Response: NO CHOICE, get over it.

 

Day 15: Monitor My Eating

Here are my challenges for the day:

-  eat everything on the plan, unless I become overly full before I’ve finished, and don’t skip a meal: I planned what I should eat to follow my plan, but it was too much food. Guess there are worse problems, but I’ve got to watch that the dog doesn’t get fat. He probably won’t get ‘Cognitive Therapy’.

- Immediately after finishing each meal, note what I ate: I have an advantage here, I’m retired. I’m glad I’m not trying to do this and teach at the same time. These first few days I don’t anticipate a problem with the check off process. I am working to make this an automatic reinforcement (like my ‘atta girl’ clicker), to carry me through the weeks ahead.

- give myself credit every single time I stick to my plan: “That’s good! I ate what I’m supposed to, and I’m taking the time to check it off”: My big thing is building my confidence. I love my ‘counter thingie’. I won’t wear anything without a pocket that I can put it in. Guess I’ll have to figure out a way to hang it around my neck . Seriously, this has become one of the most positive activities for me (and I’m glad I can’t subtract clicks on the counter for ‘bad stuff’, my self-talk does that enough).

- respond to sabotaging thoughts:

T: “I may have ‘dieted a lot’ but I haven’t learned anything.”

R: “Each time I ‘recycle’, I learn something new. This time I am learning how to shift my thinking to support my shift in behaviors.”

- problem-solving mode:

 I thought it would be ‘interesting’ to check that statistic that said people underestimated by 10% how much they’ve eaten, so I fired up “Fit Day”… wow! As I was planning what I was going to eat today, I underestimated my calories by 1/3. No wonder I haven’t been able to maintain my weight! And, no wonder this was ‘too much food’. I wonder if I’m the first person to shift to “plan B” on the first day. As I was in ‘problem-solving mode’ I realized I would have to calorie count with Fit Day.

I know me and writing down what I eat. I will be tempted not to be honest, which is silly. No one is going to see my log but me. I need to ‘CT’ this problem because it is a deeply imbedded one. I think I’ll start with ‘labeling’. Instead of calling things I do not check off or things I add ‘MISTAKES’, I will view this as ‘EDITING’, implying a ‘log correction’. That may not seem like much of a ‘mind shift’, but I can feel the log jam breaking up that keeps me from honestly logging.

The other area I will have to be brutally honest about is if I choose to have a drink after dinner. (OK, I know. Another issue for Advantages/Disadvantages; untwist my thinking; and a whole host of CT work. But as it applies here, be honest and record the calories…My promise to myself is not to lie about the calories. I’m glad I don’t have to confront this Diet Demon until Day 31.)

One ‘problem’ this daily process has helped me see is the importance of DAILY planning and IMMEDIATE monitoring. In the past, I have planned my meals a week at a time, done some corrections, but not really thought about the challenges of following my plan. By thinking of my ‘evening planning session’ as a way to ‘tweak’ my program, I can see how important this Daily planning stuff actually is.  Oh my, another ‘this stuff really works’ revelation…

**pg 145-146 This was a fantastic application of CT. (This is an imbedded question. I’ve seen that Dr. Beck reads other blogs and I’m wondering if she’ll see this question and respond. How many CT techniques are used in this session? I have had fun trying to label them, but would like to hear the ones that were intentional.)

 

Cravings note:

Last night I had the ‘last opportunity’ craving… I WANTED a 3 Musketeers, I knew they were not ‘on my plan’ starting today, so I did my ‘anti-craving strategies’ and THEY WORKED! Oh, dear… is there such a thing as ‘positive mind-washing’?…

Day 14: Plan for Tomorrow

 

Use my Meals Options List I created when I lost weight before to PLAN ONE DAY AT A TIME. This will allow me to adjust to how my body is responding.

Write down everything. Planning what I eat is essential.

I’ve also started using my “Emily’s Tummy Discomfort” scale.

(goal: stay between 0 to 3)

+10: Throwing up; feels like surgery

+8: “craving” – strong urge, tension, unpleasant yearning; feels like denture pain; (Teen voice)

+5: “desire” – want to eat more, or eat what I see; feels like asking for help around the house; “I WANT that.” (Child voice)

+3: “enough” – ate what I planned; feels like going shopping; sitting alone,  “I could eat, but I’m OK” (Adult voice)

0: stasis

Also, I’ve decided to plan 10 minutes for snacks, 20 minutes for meals, as a rule of thumb.

Thought: It is inconvenient to write everything down.

Response: It’ll probably take only five minutes a day. I have a choice. I can listen to the Teen and Child parts of my mind, or I can decide to follow my program. It’s great practice for my Adult to talk back to my Teen and Child because they’ll come up again and again.

Thought: I’ll write it down later.

Response: I may not get to later. I am making this a priority right now.

Thought: What do planning and tracking help, anyway?

Response:

-         Think about getting and preparing the food on my eating plan

-         Remember what I’m supposed to eat and when. This avoids problem solving in the moment when I feel hungry and might not make a diet-friendly choice.

-         Eliminate spontaneous eating.

-         Tolerate occasional hunger and cravings and learn I can withstand them

-         Make decisions about eating before I encounter triggers. I don’t have to make a decision; I just stick to my plan. This eliminates tension and struggle.

Thought: I’d rather write down the entire week as my ‘planning’.

Response: Planning One Day At a Time lets me adjust to how my body is feeling.

Day 13: Overcoming Cravings

 

Cravings can be a challenge. If I ‘hook’ my responses to food cravings to what I did with quitting smoking, then addressing them will be easier. There are several ideas in this chapter that I want to remember:

-         If I wait out my craving, the less intense and less frequent it will be in the future.

-         I’m feeling a craving, but I know I can tolerate it and it’ll go away…it’s great that I’m practicing restriction/delayed gratification.

-         Cravings start to diminish the moment I decide I’m absolutely not going to stray from my diet. Cravings increase when I’m indecisive about whether or not to eat.

-         To weaken the intensity and reduce the frequency of cravings, I have to stop giving in to them.

There is a difference between food cravings and cigarette cravings…I never have to smoke again, but I have to learn to eat and think wisely.

 

Anti-Craving Strategies:

- Mindset: label it, stand firm, don’t give myself a choice, imagine the aftermath of giving in, remember goal

- Behavior techniques: distance myself, drink water, relax, distract myself

- Distraction activities: TV, read, computer game, surf net, brush teeth, wear lower teeth, bath, exercise, email, crafts chore, read cook book & pick new dish to try

One interesting observation from today, my “Thought-Response” work began to feel like my Adult Voice talking back to my Child and/or Teen Voice. (No, I don’t actually ‘hear voices’, but I think you know what I mean… )

Thought: I can’t tolerate cravings.

Response: I couldn’t tolerate cravings in the past, but now I have lots of anti-craving techniques that I can use, which will make the craving go away. The discomfort of food cravings is mild compared to the discomfort I felt when I craved cigarettes. I tolerated that, and I can certainly tolerate food cravings. Cravings are not emergencies.

Thought: I don’t want to control myself.

Response: I don’t want to be at the mercy of my cravings forever. Waiting out the craving helps me practice restriction. Cravings start to diminish the moment I decide I’m absolutely not going to stray from my diet. Cravings increase when I’m indecisive about whether or not to eat. To weaken the intensity and reduce the frequency of cravings, I have to stop giving in to them.

Thought: I’ll just have a taste.

Response: NO CHOICE. Cravings don’t go away by trying to satisfy them with just a taste. (desire might, cravings…no)

Thought: If I don’t eat when I crave something, I will feel deprived.

Response: Restriction activates the energy of abundance. Chasing momentary pleasure undermines my self esteem.

Day 12: Practice Hunger Tolerance

 

Lots of initial resistance to this chapter. Sabotaging thoughts like my diet says to eat 6 times a day, and I’ll get the shakes if I don’t eat. But then I saw that this exercise was eating breakfast, then skipping am snack, lunch, afternoon snack, then eating dinner. I can do that. If I start to get the shakes & sweat, I’ll handle the problem then. This is anticipating hunger like an enemy.

How’s this for a rationalization…I start my day at 6am and normally eat dinner between 4 & 5pm, so that is when I ended the exercise. One interesting observation: when it was ‘time’ to record my discomfort level, it would jump up. I planned ‘something new that sounded good’ for dinner, and it was (mushroom risotto, salmon, and vanilla wafers for desert…yum). I will have my calcium-yogurt for evening snack. (Oh, dear… this must be working… I haven’t even started the ‘diet’ phase yet, but I am already catching myself thinking in terms of pacing my eating… hummm. But, I am also thinking about specific food, which sometimes seems to get obsessive with ‘dieters’. Oh, well… that’s a thought for another time.)

For now, the question is: what benefit do I get from being afraid of being hungry? One benefit is that I stay aware of time between feedings and it’s easier to stick to my 3+3 diet, which I KNOW works, keeps the shakes under control, and accommodates my stomach.

(Cognitive Therapy observation: I have ‘decided’ that the benefits of being ‘afraid of hunger’ outweighs the benefits of ’seeing hunger as my friend’…for now… Oh, dear… this stuff really does work!!)

 

Thought: “I’m hungry. I need to eat NOW or I’ll die.”

Response: I’d like to eat now, but I can wait. Hunger is not an emergency. Just because I want to eat doesn’t mean I always should. I’ve fasted for medical reasons, I can do it now. Experiencing hunger decreases my fear of it.

Day 11: Differentiate between Hunger, Desire, and Cravings

This is a huge problem for me. I made a Hunger Monitoring Chart to help me track hunger strength and body signals. To the Beck chart, I added the definitions of hunger, desire, craving, and addiction. At the bottom is a place for “What I learned about my body signals:  “. Later I will label whether the eating was scheduled or in response to hunger, desire, craving, or addiction.

This is adapted from Judith Beck’s definitions, but I added “addiction” because sometimes I go ‘mindless’ and it gets past the Craving stage:

Hunger: haven’t eaten for many hours, specific body sensations (empty sensation in stomach, rumblings…)

Desire: just eaten but want to eat more, social or time response eating

Craving: strong urge to eat, tension and unpleasant physical yearning sensation

Addiction: anxiety + poor boundaries (unable/unwilling to restrict, unwilling to delay gratification)

Later: my timer pooped out on the last tracking exercise. I’m going to get another timer at the store because this is an exercise I need to repeat several times.

What I have learned about my eating:

-         I do not have a good vocabulary or an accurate scale to describe hunger.

-         Fear of getting the shakes keeps me from letting myself get hungry, so ‘getting hungry’ triggers a fear response

-         Snacks ‘sooth tension’ felt in my throat

Thought: I have too much trouble identifying body sensations.

Response: As I record the sensations, I will develop a system that works for me. I don’t have to know all the ‘right words’ all at once.

Thought: It is too much trouble to track the different body sensations.

Response: I am practicing telling the difference between hunger, desire, craving, and addictive eating, which will help me be successful in maintaining my goals.

Thought: I want to eat more because I’m still hungry.

Response: I’ve finished the food I planned to eat for this meal, and I’m still hungry…but that’s ok…It might take my brain 20 minutes to send a message to my body that I’m full…I’ll wait to see how I feel in 20 minutes.

Thought: “I’m hungry. I need to eat NOW or I’ll die.”

Response: I’d like to eat now, but I can wait. Hunger is not an emergency. Just because I want to eat doesn’t mean I always should. I’ve fasted for medical reasons, I can do it now. Experiencing hunger decreases my fear of it.

Day 10: set a realistic goal

My short –term goal is -5 pounds

My long term goal is -47 lbs

(-14% body fat; -43 lbs fat; no more than -4 lbs lean; BMI 23.4)

 

Think I’ll stop blogging here, but continue journaling on my own until I catch up reading the blogs of others and respond.

 

I’m back. I’ve caught up with reading the other blogs, and gotten through Memorial Day. I was surprised and pleased to see my blog had been blogrolled onto this site. I have never done this before, so I don’t know what to expect. I just know that putting my thoughts ‘out there’ is helping me interact with the ideas in the book.

 

One thing I have to say, most of my Thought-Responses are from TBDS book, and so are not ‘original’. Some I write for myself, but these are the ones I find helpful and so put them in my Sabotage Response file.

Day 9: Exercise

This is my challenge. In the past, I have lost weight with diet and exercise. When I stopped exercising, I gained weight. Part of the weight gain was decreased calorie expenditure, part was attitude shift (just this once/week/month). But getting back in the habit of a balanced exercise diet is as hard for me as restricting my eating. So, the Advantages that the book identifies that are important to me are:

-helps me stick with my diet: I’m serious about losing weight and getting in shape…I’m willing to make a commitment, even if I start off very small…I’m determined to succeed, once and for all. Determination can carry over into my dieting efforts.

- help control appetite

- boosts mood and soothes stress

- burns calories

- preserves muscle tissue (this one is important to my goals)

- builds confidence

- feel better physically: the more I move, the more I feel like moving; sleep improves so more energy

- improves my health: less joint pain in the long run, less likely to fall

 

And the Advantages to exercise from my Advantages Card are:

Easier to exercise: which will preserve my ability to function well—

-         stamina, strength, flexibility, balance

-         improve proportion of legs to body

-         Have more energy

-         Be able to do a wider variety of activities

-         Less likely to fall

 

Planned Exercise:

I have started today with a combination of treadmill, pilates, Curves, free weights, Tai Chi, and will exercise 3 times per week, add 1 time per week each month to a total of 5 time per week.

- stamina: treadmill (start at 5 minutes, add one minute per day to total of 15 mins, then increase incline)

- strength: Curves (1 time per week, add 1 time per week each month for 3 months, 30 mins per workout)

- flexibility: Pilates (start at 5 minutes, add one minute per day to total of 15 mins, do on same days I do treadmill)

- balance: Pilates work, add Tai Chi tapes as exercise becomes habit

 

Spontaneous Exercise:

-         I am wearing my Pedometer and recording the steps in my Wellness Journal.

-         Gardening (which I have avoided…but I will use the timer and think of it as exercise)

-         Read “Every Excuse in the Book” (responses to exercise excuses) and add “Thought/Response” to my Sabotage List.

More Later… 

 

Thought: I don’t want to exercise.
Response: If I want to lose weight and keep it off, I need to exercise. Want to has little to do with it. I have to make exercise a priority. I need to exercise each day to fulfill my purpose in life. I shouldn’t fool myself into thinking that exercise is optional.

Thought: It doesn’t count unless I can do a full workout.
Response: Exercising for five minutes is better than zero minutes. I will naturally build up the amount that I do over time as my body responds positively.

Thought: I’ll just diet and not exercise to lose weight.
Response: Research shows that exercise is essential to lose weight and maintain the weight loss. When I stopped exercising, I started gaining. If I want the benefits of being thinner, I have to exercise.

Day 8: create time and energy

This lesson was not as difficult for me as others. Where I get hung up is the follow through on my plan, and get distracted. What this lesson did challenge me with is that the time and energy commitment goes beyond eating differently. It also includes meal plans, making lists, shopping, cooking, eating mindfully, exercising, doing my CT-BDS exercises, and the mental energy to counter sabotaging thoughts.

Thought: I like to give M. choices for dinner, I never know if he feels like grilling or wants something specific.
Response: Until I’ve developed a routine, I can’t rely on spontaneous shopping and spontaneous food preparation.

Thought: “I don’t have time.”
Response: I am taking care of myself. If I don’t matter to me, I won’t be available to matter to anyone.
Response: It isn’t reasonable for me to sacrifice my needs.
Response: It might be more accurate to say that I’m not willing to make the time. If I had to get a blood transfusion every day to keep myself alive, obviously I’d find the time.

day 7: arrange my environment

My home is fairly diet-friendly. The only real change I needed to make was to remove the box of Wheat Thins from the table…
Then I got honest with myself.

My problem is not what is in sight, it’s what I hide “just in case”. In my drawer in my desk is 3 Musketeers. My sabotaging thoughts are ‘I haven’t started the diet phase yet, and this will be gone by then.’ It’s true, but still a sabatoge.

A pro-active change I will make today is to measure into serving sizes my cereal portions. Sometimes I eat cereal for breakfast, but usually for snacks. The box is too tempting to over-eat… sandwich bags are my friend.

Response: Hidden things are still visible. I am working towards a goal that is important to me. It’s time for me to practice meeting my needs.