New Attitude about Planning what I’m going to eat:

I am experiencing an interesting shift in relationship to my eating planning. Instead of thinking about what I CAN’T have to eat, my planning is focusing me on what I CAN and PLAN to eat. Because I know I only have to wait until tonight to plan for something tomorrow I would really like to have right now, delayed gratification is becoming easier…not easy, but easier. When I don’t make a conscious plan on what I’m going to eat, I can feel myself shifting back into deprivation mentality, which triggers my Rebel Teenager, which can trigger a binge. This process of planning is also helping me become more aware of when I am making short-term decisions with long-term implications.
Exercise: gardening

How to Stay at My New Weight

There are lots of good suggestions for maintaining in this section of the book. Some of them are: weight myself and track my weight at least once a week, go back to my weight loss diet if I gain 3 pounds, accept the amount of effort required for maintenance, expect there to be times when it is more difficult than others, give myself credit, respond to sabotaging thoughts, plan and monitor what I eat, create menus, use good eating habits, exercise, as well as get and give support. I look forward to this part of my journey.

A weight loss program is as much about the journey as it is the destination. Sure, I want to lose weight, but the reality is that it doesn’t happen all at once. What’s really important is what happens next. I have been motivated to blog and concentrate on the habits in the Beck Diet Solution for the past 6 weeks, as I have worked through each of the lessons in the book. It is important for me to get better at the skills I have been practicing. Keeping my Wellness Journal and FitDay entries are the foundation of my plan. Add to this reading my Thought/Response cards as I continue to practice CT skills in shifting negative thinking patterns. I plan to blog until at least the end of July, while I focus on the skills that need the most attention, then I will re-evaluate my plan. My first area of focus is to be more focused in my planned exercising.

Exercise: gardening

When to Stop Losing and Start Maintaining

Interesting question… when to stop dieting and start ‘rest-of-my-life’ maintaining. It took me several years to realize what I could ‘will’ my body to do, and what my body was telling me was a reasonable target weight might not be the same ‘number on the scale’. So, the question was ‘what what would make me minimally satisfied?’ Interesting distinction.

Ok, my challenge is that I know my lowest achievable weight is about 140 lbs. (I don’t like the way my face looks below that weight.) My lowest maintainable weight is between 147 and 152. The amount of caloric limitation and exercise I have to do to stay in the low 140’s is not sensible for my age, preferred physical activity level, health, and how my body naturally carries my weight. My natural plateaus have been in the high 190’s, high 180’s, mid-170’s, mid-160’s, mid-150’s, and mid- 140’s with lots of effort. My lowest weight in 40 years was 139.5 for about 10 seconds. When I hit these plateaus I ‘rest’, then I cut my calories and increase my exercise. Because of joint challenges, I have to be aware of the type and intensity levels of the exercises I do. I know that I need an eating and exercise plan I can comfortable live with for the rest of my life. My challenge is to not allow myself to just drift to a higher weight, or think I can force my body beyond what is reasonable for me.

I really like the section in the book that talked about what I can do if, at my lowest maintainable weight, I don’t like how I look. I can continue to enrich my life, focus on the parts of my body that please me, say ‘oh, well’, focus on how I’ve improved, change my comparison (to people my age, etc), watch the +/-2 pound range at my weekly weigh-in, focus on other measures of improvement (body measurements, strength, endurance, flexibility, and balance), and act ‘as if’…working on my self-confidence.

Thought: I could do more.
Response: It’s wonderful that I’ve lost weight. I celebrate the ‘new me’, and don’t criticize myself. I don’t look perfect, but I look much better and feel much better. It’s great to be at this new weight.

Exercise: gardening

Day 42: Practice, Practice, Practice

I’m not going to claim to have learned the Cognitive Therapy skills I need to think like a thin person, but I can honestly say I have a good start on identifying my strengths and weaknesses in applying this skill, and have a concrete plan for improvement. I know that I’ll hit rough patches from time to time, occasionally give in to cravings, forget to give myself credit, and neglect to follow my food plan. I will remember that the rough patches are temporary, and even though I may find reviewing my skills lessons useful, I have an excellent groundwork for their application. These are the Thoughts/Responses from this section I want to remember:
Thought: I hadn’t planned to eat this food, but I’m hungry. I have to eat right now!
Response: Pause and make sure I ‘need’ to eat vs. I ‘want’ to eat. One is a medical issue, the other is momentary pleasure.
Thought: Even though I’ve finished everything on my plate, I want to keep eating.
Response: Do I really want to throw up? Wait 20 minutes. If I can honestly say I am hungry, then eat a planned snack.
Thought: It’s ok to eat this unplanned food because: everyone else is eating it; it’ll go to waste; I’m celebrating; I’m upset; I really want it; I don’t care (WTF); it won’t matter.
Response. It’s not ok to eat this; I’m just trying to fool myself. Every time I eat something I haven’t planned, I make it easier to give in the next time. Every time I don’t, I make it easier to resist.
Thought: I can’t believe the scale has gone up! I’ll never be able to lose weight.
Response: My weight is supposed to fluctuate. I should continue with my program and wait two weeks before assuming there is a problem.
Thought: It’s not fair that I can’t eat normally and have what everyone else is eating.
Response: I’m now eating normally for a person who has a goal to lose weight.
Thought: Now that I’ve lost weight, I can stop being so careful.
Response: If I want to keep the weight off, I need to use the techniques I’ve learned for the rest of my life. If I don’t continue to maintain my new mindset and eating behaviors, I’ll gain back weight.

Weight: gained 1 (-2.5/5)

Exercise: treadmill

Day 41: Make a New To-Do List

What I know to do, what I do, and what I need to work on is where my energy for this lesson will focus. Some skills are almost automatic, some need practice and reminders, and some need conscious work. On Day 36 I began this process.

Before I started this program, I did pretty well with these areas, and so they are almost automatic:
- leave food on my plate
- stop eating when I’d finished what was on my plate
- stop myself from nibbling as I cooked
- eat slowly
- eat sitting down
- limit myself when I ate out
- think about what I’m eating before I actually put it in my mouth
- eat only to mild fullness
- do spontaneous exercise
- weigh myself regularly
- Prepare myself for special-occasion eating

Before I started this program, I couldn’t consistently do these things, and so need practice and reminders:
- feel hungry and not stress about it; hunger is not an emergency
- eat a healtful diet
- say to myself, NO CHOICE, and Oh, well… when tempted
- make a limited calorie PLAN and stick to it
- MONITOR my eating throughout the day
- refrain from spontaneous drinking
- control general snacking
- recognize and respond to my sabotaging thoughts, and continued to make Response Cards
- GIVE MYSELF CREDIT
- Put myself first so I can eat properly
- Make sure I have enough time and energy to devote to dieting
- Read my Advantages Response Card
- Read my Thought/Response Cards
- Use anti-craving techniques
- Use the 7 Question Technique when I’m upset
- If I overate or strayed from my diet, I got back on track immediately
- Responded effectively to ideas of unfairness and discouragement
- Prepare myself for weighing in.

I still need lots of work on these areas:
- make planned exercise 3 times a week a priority
- limit friends and family as food pushers
- take steps to enrich my life
- experience negative emotions without turning to food for comfort
- don’t get self-critical; view my evening planning session as a way to adjust what I am doing

Keeping my Wellness Journal is my key. I will copy the last two sections, print them, and tape them in my Wellness Journal. I will read them every day and make notes in the “Final Thoughts” section of my Journal on areas where I see progress or areas that need work. This will give me direction for my blogs. I did not use the checklists in the book as intended, although I worked consistently on the Thought/Response exercise, planning and monitoring what I ate, as well as working on the daily lessons and blogging for accountability. This is not a process that comes naturally, or easily. I have a lot of work to do and appreciate the opportunity to continue reporting my progress.

Thought: It’s too much trouble to keep doing all these things.
Response: Losing weight is important to me. It does take effort to do these things, but the payoff is tremendous.
Thought: I know what I’m supposed to do. I don’t need to fill out the to-do check list.
Response: What’s the big deal? Better safe than sorry. I may as well assume the list will motivate me and remind me what I need to work on.

Exercise: walking

Day 40: Enrich Your Life

Not to put my life on hold until I get to my goal weight is a lesson I have learned the hard way, but have to continue to remind myself. What I am learning to do is to view these efforts in enriching my life as ‘practice’. I have to wear clothes between now and then, so letting my wardrobe develop into something I’m proud of is good shopping practice and lets me get used to what looks good and fits NOW. Going to new places and talking to new people will help me focus on things other than food and have more mental energy. My biggest challenges in this area are to improve my wardrobe and to get out of the house more.

Response: I’m acting like a ‘normal’ person. So what if I’m heavier than I want to be. I’m working on it. I’ve made a lot of progress so far. I’ll get there. Once I take steps to enrich my life, dieting will be easier.

Thought: I don’t deserve to spend money on cool clothes until I’ve lost all the weight I need to lose.
Response: Of course, I deserve to reward myself. Being overweight is not a moral failing. Everyone deserves to look as pretty as they can.
Thought: I won’t have as good a time if I (do this activity) before I’ve lot weight.
Response: That might be true, but I can call this ‘Practice’. I am learning what I want my life to be like, and practicing making it so.

Exercise: gardening

Day 39: Keep Up with Exercise

Physical exertion, for me, is not my strong suit. I can give you every excuse in the book: age, medical conditions, being totally out of shape, not liking to sweat, preferring other activities, pain. But the simple fact is… priorities. I know the benefits; I know to start easy and work up slowly; but I have not moved exercise to the top of my priority list. My latest excuse is ‘When I finish the book, I will use the time to exercise.’ The truth is I am retired. I could exercise now. So, how am I going to turn around my resistance?

There are several ideas in the book I’m going to implement in order to get my ‘want to’ fixed, and several of my own ideas that I’m going to use:
• focus on how I’ll fell after I finish exercising: the hardest part is getting started
• put exercise in the NO CHOICE category: treat my avoidance like a craving, say ‘oh, well…’, put it first on my daily planning list (don’t allow myself to get on-line until I’ve exercised)
• Give myself lots of credit: figure out a rewards system for my clicks, and give myself a click for each minute of exercise; use timers extensively
• Focus on my progress: I like charts and graphs; figure out a way to post my plans and progress in my exercise room (yes, I have an entire room in my house for exercise… but use it sporadically). Put my GOALS on the wall.
• Have specific books on tape or music that I listen to as rewards while I exercise…and don’t allow myself to listen to them outside the room. I could also exercise during a specific program that I really want to watch. Until moving my body becomes a reward in itself, I will need to occupy my mind.
• I’m going to keep blogging, but focus on my accountability for exercising, applying the BDS/Cognitive Therapy lessons to this challenge. This will be especially important in the Thought/Response areas.
Once I accept that exercise has to be a permanent part of my weight-loss program, dieting will be easier.

Thought: It’s OK to skip exercising today because I don’t want to, I’m tired, and I’m to stressed out.
Response: It’s not OK. Exercise is an essential part of losing weight and maintaining my weight loss.
Thought: I’m not going to keep this up forever, so why start?
Response: I can do it today. If I have trouble doing it later on, I’ll solve the problem then.
Thought: I’m not an exercise person.
Response: I don’t have to be an exercise fanatic. I can continue doing what I’ve been doing and just gradually increase it, if I want to. A little bit, over a long time, equals a lot.

Exercise: gardening

Day 38: Deal with a Plateau

My typical weight loss pattern is I lose some weight, stay the same for a week or two, lose some more, gain a little back, lose some more, repeat all or part of the pattern, but, at some point I hit a Plateau. The weeks where I maintain are usually because I took in too many calories or exercised too little. But, when I stay the same weight for several weeks in a row, then that is a real plateau. The book says it happens when my body no longer needs as much energy (calories) as I used to need. Decreasing my calories by 200 per day should boost my weight loss by ½ pound per week. I have also found that switching around what I eat, or when I eat it can also help. This is especially true for me because I tend to get into patterns (some would call them eating ruts).

Increasing my daily exercise or changing my exercise routine can also help. (But tomorrow is the day we are looking at exercise…)

There are times when I have been on a ‘strict diet’ that I’ve ‘taken a vacation for a day’, and this has jump started my weight loss. When I eat few calories (defined for me by planning to eat less than 1,000 per day over several weeks), my body goes into ‘starvation mode’, and the weight I lose tends to be muscle mass. One trick that works for me is to eat between 1,000 and 1,200 calories for 2 days, then 1,500 for a day, then repeat the pattern. First of all, my body doesn’t trip into ‘starvation mode – fat conserving’ as easily with this pattern. Second, my head says ‘this restriction is only for a short while… I can eat more in a day or two… or I just ate more yesterday so this is my diet day.’ The closer I get to my lowest maintainable goal weight, the longer my plateaus are. I’m not there yet. I’m still in the ½ pound per week stage (and if I stay the same, it’s because I ate more or exercised less). But the lesson today is reminding me how my body reacts on an extended weight loss journey.

Thought: It’s terrible that I’ve hit a plateau.
Response: Plateaus are a normal port of losing weight. My body is just adjusting on its way down. This may actually be a ‘set point’ and it may take some special attention to jump start the scale movement. But, this is supposed to happen from time to time. It doesn’t necessarily mean I’m doing anything wrong. Try some of the tricks I know that work for me.
Thought: This just isn’t fair. I’ve worked hard. I should keep losing like I have up until this point.
Response: Check my weight graph that I’ve kept since 2002. Look for plateau patterns to get information about ‘personal set points’. Give myself credit for all the changes I’ve made in my thinking and behavior so far and how they are impacting my progress. TAKE MY MEASUREMENTS. Don’t assume the only information that counts is gotten on the scale.

Exercise: treadmill

Day 37: Reduce Stress

For me, mild stress is helpful in motivating me to be productive, and even positive events can produce stress. For example, yesterday I got to visit my 4th grandchild. He was born a couple of days ago, so trips to the hospital and spending some time with his big brother have helped in the positive productivity department.

When I am dealing with problems that create stress, I will use many of the same skills that I learned in dealing with negative emotions. Once I take steps to reduce my overall stress, dieting will be easier.
#1. Identify and address the problem, by evaluating my priorities and using the 7 Question Technique to respond to negative thoughts that interfere with problem solving.
#2. Relax, using audio tapes of progressive muscle relaxation, guided imagery, or slow and controlled breathing. I can also do what I did today… get a massage.
#3. Change My Mindset, when unreasonable rules guide my behavior and my expectation for others. These rules usually have ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t, ‘always’ or ‘never’ in them. I can insert the word ‘reasonable’ into my rules:
Thought: I should always do my best.
Response: I should try to do a reasonable job most of the time.
Thought: I should do everything myself. I shouldn’t ask others for help.
Response: I should rely on others when it is reasonable to do so.
Thought: People should give back to me as much as I give to them.
Response: A gift of time or money is not a business transaction. I freely give to others. Besides, I don’t control other people. I can change my own thinking and behavior, but I can’t necessarily change other people.
Thought: Other people should always be perfect.
Response: It’s realistic to expect that other people will make mistakes.
Thought: Other people should always read my mind.
Response: It’s realistic to expect that people won’t know what I want or need unless I tell them.

One stress happened today that I found interesting and learned something from. I do not like to shop, so going to garage sales just doesn’t work for me. If I have a list, and am looking for something specific, then I usually just go to the store and buy it. Today there was a group of neighborhood garage sales, and there are several items on my ‘to get’ list. So I went. Of course none of the items I was looking for was available, but there were other tempting things. All look good in my home; I will use everything I bought. But on the way home I began to feel that consumption craving, which turned to food craving, which turned to a strong desire for fast food (which I haven’t eaten in months), and I could feel that old addictive impulse. It would have been so easy to go ‘mindless’. I found myself using every technique I know to get home without a slip. The best were to drive down a busier street than I had to, stay in the left lane (so I couldn’t turn into a fast food place on impulse), promise to eat breakfast before I go out again (gotta hit the garage sales early, but I know better). I bought way more stuffed animals for my dog than I needed to (but garage sales can be a great place to get them). I think maybe that triggered the addictive eating cycle. I’m finding it interesting that stress, eating, addictive responses, and thought patterns can be all tangled up. I hear the 7 Questions calling my name.

Exercise: treadmill

(Mindset observations: ‘but’ = justification…and I just wrote a lot of ‘but’ statements; ‘gotta hit the garage sales early’ = rule. See, I’m catching myself…)

Day 36: Believe It

I find it interesting how long it takes the pictures in my head to catch up with the reality. It’s not just what I think I look like, but also knowing that it has happened as a process of the actions I have taken. Understanding something, intellectually, and internalizing the truth don’t necessarily happen at the same time. In 2002-03 I lost 160 pounds in 9 months, but my body image did not keep up with reality. When I got to my goal weight, I felt uncomfortable. Even though I maintained the weight loss within 10 pounds for 2 years, my body in my dreams was frequently large (couldn’t fit through doors or sit in small chairs). Today, I do not doubt I can loose weight, I know I can. I do not doubt I will get back within my goal range, I know I will. What I am working on is internalizing that I can maintain my goal weight, and that my progress won’t disappear as long as I continue to use my tools. I have ‘dieted’, to some degree or another, all my life. Changing my perception about who I ‘am’ is another matter. I know as long as I define myself as someone who needs to be on a ‘diet’, I will be in jeopardy of regaining. When I make the shift to thinking in terms of ‘life style changes’… then all my tools can work together. Once I believe that I’ve lost weight due to my own effort, dieting will be easier.

My Believe It Card:
I’m losing weight because I’ve learned how. I will keep it off because I’ve learned how.
1. What I have to do (plan my eating, track what I eat, exercise, use anti-craving strategies, etc.)
2. What I have to remind myself (hunger and cravings are not emergencies, NO CHOICE, Oh well, etc.)
3. How to motivate myself (get support, read my cards, give myself credit every day, practice answering negative thoughts)
4. How to keep honest (graph my weight change weekly, blog)

There has been a lot of changes in my thinking.
1. I don’t fool myself as often. (It won’t matter if I overeat once. I can’t have a good time if I don’t eat and drink what I want. It’s ok to eat because I’m upset. I’ve strayed, so I may as well blow it for the day.)
2. I don’t dwell on injustice as often. (It’s not fair that I can’t eat like other people. It’s not fair that I can’t eat whatever I want. It’s not fair that I have to diet.)
3. I am more aware of how often I let my concerns about other people stand in the way of doing what I need to do for myself. (I can’t inconvenience others. I have to keep them happy. I can’t turn down food my family and friends offer me.

Thought: If I start to believe I can do this, I’ll jinx myself.
Response: If I believe I can’t do this, then I’m likely to run into trouble when dieting gets tough. If I build up my confidence, I’ll be able to keep plugging away.
Thought: If I recognize my progress, I’ll get too confident and start to loosen up.
Response: I’ll be able to catch myself, as long as I consciously do what I know to do.

Before I started this program, I did pretty well with:
- leave food on my plate
- stop eating when I’d finished what was on my plate
- stop myself from nibbling as I cooked
- eat slowly
- eat sitting down
- limit myself when I ate out

Before I started this program, I couldn’t consistently:
- feel hungry and not stress about it
- say to myself, NO CHOICE
- make a plan and stick to it
- refrain from spontaneous eating
- control general snacking
- recognize and respond to my sabotaging thoughts
- GIVE MYSELF CREDIT
- Put myself first so I can eat properly

I still need lots of work on:
- make exercise a priority
- limit friends and family as food pushers